After a powerful group coaching call with my ETC members today, this blog post came to me after guiding the women on the call to stepping into their power and setting new boundaries to put a stop to the unbelievable treatment they are tolerating from an unconscious, abusive partner.
I hope this helps you…
To the woman who feels alone, unseen and confused by what she’s experiencing in her relationship, this is for you…
He belittles and mocks you because he feels so empty and insignificant inside, so he must project that feeling on to you. It’s not your fault.
He gaslights you because he can’t tolerate looking at his own shortcomings and faults, or even face any guilt about his unfathomable behaviour. He needs to take the heat off of himself and throw it at you to knock you off balance. You are not crazy.
He gets frustrated because he doesn’t know how to manage his emotions in a healthy way, its not anything you have done to deserve his aggression.
He stonewalls you because he doesn’t have the tools to process what you’re saying, and checking out or ignoring you is easier than coming toward you to fix the issues. It’s not your fault for bringing the issues to him.
He shifts blame, because he cannot stand to look within himself, so it’s easier to point the finger and find some relief in the moment. But you are not to blame.
He criticizes you because he is so critical of himself. He feels so low within himself, the only way to get a ‘boost’ is to cut you down. You are enough.
All of the ways he treats you are reflection of what’s inside of him. It’s not about anything you have done, or not done.
He holds a belief deep inside his consciousness that he is entitled to treat you this way. That he is entitled to special treatment that he is not willing to reciprocate back to you.
That you are his possession.
And you are only useful when you’re serving his purposes and intentions.
You do not need to tolerate this.
You can take a stand.
You can say “no more”.
You can set new boundaries.
You are not his maid, servant, personal chef, assistant, or slave.
He is an adult.
He is choosing how he is treating you.
Now it’s your turn to choose not to allow it to continue.
Ready to remove yourself from the emotional abuse dynamics and patterns?
Need help NOW with breaking these patterns and don’t want to wait?