What if the Universe Doesn’t Have Your back?
I’ve been deep in reflection lately, well, as always, and this morning felt compelled to share what I really feel and believe about this whole “Universe has your back” thing.
This may ruffle some feathers, but this also might just be the thing you most need to hear right now.
If you’ve been questioning it all, are going through your own health or life challenges, and have never totally joined with the whole thing that you are being guided by a force outside of you, and it’s all “happening for you not to you”, read on.
It’s a nice idea to believe that there is a benevolent, all loving force that is behind us, guiding the way that is most perfect for our souls journey.
And, I have definitely tried (hard) to align myself with this belief over the years, and have even practiced many things to connect with this idea, and make it feel true for me.
But as I approach year 42, and have experienced a lifetime of shit already (and yes, there is worse that happens in the world, and I have witnessed it first hand with friends and people around me) but I feel like I’ve already lived 9 lives.
The thought comes up when horrible things happening to good people, “what is the point of life”?
And while this might sound like a depressing thought, it is actually the thought that can set us free. If we dig deeper.
As I get older, I realize that the more I think I know for sure, the less I actually know.
I have always kept an open mind about this spiritual realm and have been on this path for many years. I am open to most things, but attached to no thing when it comes to my spiritual understanding.
Like Oprah is famous for her “what I know for sure” reflections, I think this is a very courageous thing to reflect on. Because we get to the core of the truth, our truth, that for the most part, there is little we actually know for sure.
As a Course in Miracles says “Only Love is Real”.
And, Metaphysics tells us everything is energy.
And no matter what it is I believe I know, this is the only constant. The love I have for my 3 children, and the life I have shared with my husband and our pets. The memories, the joys that this has brought to my life..nothing compares for me. Even during the challenging times, this is what matters. And more than this, it’s the true connection that we desire.
When I’m out in nature, at the ocean or in the forest, this is another big way I connect with this power.
But I don’t know for sure what this power is. And neither does anyone else.
A belief is just a strong opinion.
And as I have heard from Wayne Dyer many times as he has quoted:
“The Tao that can be told is not the true Tao” – Lao Tzu
Once we define it, it loses it’s meaning.
So, what is YOUR “what I know for sure” list?
How do you tap into love or this spiritual energy?
I have a conservative Spiritual view. My mind is open to everything, attached to nothing. At least, this is how I endevour to live. There are some areas of my life I am definitely attached to, and couldn’t imagine losing, but the principle is still worth practicing, I believe. For most things.
Here are my definitions and meaning I give the following spiritual/Manifestation principles commonly taught:
Manifestation: When clear intentions, lined up with thoughts followed by actions become things. This can go for things we want, and things we don’t want. The Law of Action states that we must engage in actions that support our dreams, thoughts, emotions and words to create things and circumstances we desire. Everything is backed by ACTION. And understanding that on the physical plane, our thoughts, create our emotions, create our actions/habits, create our reality.
Synchronicity: The Reticular Activating System (just Google it) explains this phenomenon. Essentially it’s the power of our focus being manifest into the physical. Have you ever noticed that when you first see, hear or learn about something, suddenly it’s everywhere? Try this: Focus in your mind right now the color red. Now scan your environment around you. How many red things can you spot that you didn’t notice before? This is the power of our focus. Use it to your advantage and get focused on what you want to see!
Divine Guidance: When we have an experience that deeply resonates with our soul (the immaterial part of us, our emotional energy). We can have a memory, or emotion that stirs something within. These messages often come through other people in our lives, strangers, something on TV, a book, something we hear in passing, or a “download” of truth that cuts through our mind chatter that we know we must act on. Is there an angel whispering in our ear? Is the Universe actually talking to us? Or is it that we are hearing our own deepest truths when we get quiet, meditate, go into nature, pray? etc.
Resistance: Have you heard it said in the personal development world that you have resistance to achieving something you truly want to achieve? Maybe its more money, better health, a better relationship, growing your business big time, writing that book, hitting record, or some other scary step? Well resistance is simply a contradictory action (or lack of any action) taken that is not aligned with what we say we want. “I want to grow my businesses” can be the conscious level desire. But underneath there are beliefs and contradictory emotions that are causing you to not take the right action to get you to your desires and dreams. So this would stop you from getting the results to create the outcome you say you want. Moving through resistance is simply acting even when it feels scary, or when you mind is telling you lies and scary stories. Otherwise referred to as the “Ego”.
Surrender: Many think this means to give up, or to take a passive stance in life. What this actually means is: Know clearly what you want +> Take the necessary aligned actions to get there +> Let go of attachment to the outcome as you think it should be. It doesn’t mean an outside force is arranging the people and money to come toward you. But your inspired and aligned actions matched with intention and managing your inner state will bring those things to you -if they are meant for you to have. And, it’s OK to relax and enjoy your life as you are waiting. In fact, this is one of the deepest spiritual lessons I believe there is. Being OK when things aren’t going your way. Even finding joy in the mess is possible.
What if you chose to believe that you can’t get it wrong?
That everything that has happened didn’t happen for you as much as it happened to you.
Happening to you meaning, it was inflicted upon you by another ill intentioned person.
Telling someone who was mistreated in some way that it “happened for them” is like adding trauma to trauma. It’s spiritual bypassing. It’s hinting that somehow you did something wrong to bring this negative or painful, traumatic experience into your life to learn from.
What really needs to happen is healing. To be affirmed even once, that you were victimized. You were mistreated. You were abused. You were neglected. You were abandoned.
So now, what will you do to heal those parts of you that are bleeding?
The parts of you that need to be integrated and healed in order to be more fully in the present?
Perhaps there are some deep lessons you gleaned along the healing process of that. But to just chalk it up to “everything is happening for you” is ridiculous. But, if this belief empowers and inspires you, of course keep doing what’s working.
When I get a parking ticket, this is happening for me to learn to remember to plug the meter.
If I gain 20 pounds, this is happening for me to look at my stress, wellness, eating habits, and sugar intake and perhaps increase my daily movement, or ponder why I want to eat chips and chocolate every night when the kids go to bed. Or to get my hormones checked.
When I hit Adrenal burnout, it happened because there where things I was neglecting and needed to do the soul-emotional work to release the past and heal my present. I can take ownership for that. So this happened for me to WAKE UP.
My recent thyroid diagnosis is happening for me to go deeper with my healing and really get present, simplify and focus on what truly matters. If it doesn’t bring me joy, out it goes!
When I was in an abusive toxic relationship in my teens, I didn’t know to value myself more. I didn’t know I deserved better. My work was to take my power back and heal that part of myself that thought I deserved to be mistreated and disrespected.
But not all trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, abandonment happens for us. Sometimes shit just happens and we didn’t see it coming.
I’m not knocking spirituality.
I love my crystals, burning sage, soul cards, space clearing, feng shui, prayer, meditation, full moon energy, listening to spiritual teachers like Wayne Dyer and Abraham Hicks and tuning into my own intuition for guidance.
But I also think that there are many things being taught by spiritual and manifestation ‘coaches’ and gurus that can elicit fear, anxiety and paranoia.
The fear we are attracting more negative can become a real hindrance, and actually keep us stuck.
And, “you’re attracting your current reality” is not something someone going through hell and hard times wants to hear.
When we hear this, and are doing all we can in our power to change our situation, it immediately triggers shame and the feeling that we are somehow doing it ‘wrong’.
And the gurus telling us this, want to make us believe that they know something we don’t.
While there is some definite truth that we create our reality, through our dominant thoughts, beliefs, emotions, energetic state and ACTIONS (or lack of actions), I don’t believe we “attract” tragedy and hardships like death, illness, house fires or assholes.
However, we can choose to learn the lessons and create the meaning we choose to give what shows up in our life.
“Everything is energy” is another one I have grappled to fully understand. And what this means to me is that we create our energy and frequency based on our thoughts, and emotions. Like attracts like simply means that someone who is depressed and stuck in victim mode will resonate and welcome in others who are in the same state. This person may also find themselves at a similar level of evolution in all of their life circumstances.
Also a depressed person will not take the necessary actions toward want they desire, because their dominant emotional state is apathy, low self worth, sadness, and feelings of guilt and shame.
These emotional states are not conducive to taking massive scary action. And often they cause us to isolate, not get out there and make life happen for us.
Whereas someone who is intent on positive thinking, growing, and going after what they desire, will welcome and seek those who are on the same wavelength.
Someone who has emotional mastery, and can overcome these feelings of self doubt, depression, worry, fear etc, and ACT despite their emotional state will create more of what they desire. And we call them ‘successful’.
I don’t see myself as a magnet for crap. Or a magnet for good. I believe we create our circumstances based on our internal truths. And what we believe will be our reality.
If you believe that life sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it, and resign to a life of never going after what you want, you will likely find yourself surrounded by others who are in the same boat.
Whereas, I would run far away from people who acted this way, and approached life in this way. I won’t even work with clients who are in this state.
And that’s because, I have done the inner work on myself, non-stop for so many years I have lost count. And, I will never stop.
And it’s not that those stuck in victim reality are bad people. It’s just that if we are growing ourselves internally, we just won’t vibe with those who are not on a similar journey.
Often what seems like “bad luck” comes down to making poor decisions, not valuing ourselves, not taking enough of the right actions, failing to take action or simply not knowing something.
We each have the power of choice.
We get to choose what we believe. So make sure what you choose to believe is empowering you, not harming you.
We all hold the power to create what we desire.
But this doesn’t mean that we will get what we want, exactly when we want it, or possibly ever.
I don’t believe the Universe is torturing me when things don’t go my way. But there have been times when I cursed ‘whoever’ was responsible for my current shitty circumstances. “Why meeeee”?
But can you see how when we do this, we are giving our power away?
When we say, “The Universe Has a Plan” this almost absolves us from taking radical self responsibility for our lives.
And manifestation isn’t’ magic. It’s aligning thoughts, with emotions, with action to create a certain reality we are focused on. Sitting there journalling about what you want and praying the Universe will deliver it to you will not get you very far.
Whatever your beliefs, remember that you will create your reality by working on and developing yourself internally.
Working on your past programming, traumas, emotional wounding, beliefs and thoughts that are hindering your growth and “blocking you” from getting what you want.
But, of course, nothing external is blocking you. You are actually blocking yourself.
Are you ready to transform your life from the inside out?