It is more than OK to take time to care for yourself, your needs, your wants, and your desires.
I hear so often from women in my Women Rising Facebook community, in conversation with clients and potential clients that there is so much guilt and resistance around taking time for themselves.
Let me start by saying that GUILT is a useless emotion most of the time, unless of course you have harmed someone, stolen, or done something otherwise guilt inducing that you may need to make amends for. This is the only purpose of guilt if it’s used in the right way as a pointer toward our growth.
This is different though, and if you have a reason to feel guilt and have truly acted in ways you aren’t proud of, forgive yourself and do something to clear it, if possible, with the other person. Or choose if that’s not an option, you can choose to let it go. Carrying a heavy bag of guilt around does not make you a more noble or more loving person.
Guilt can paralyze us and keep us stuck in a rut. It’s often times an excuse for not taking action. Or sometimes guilt is caused by failing to take action, and live up to what we know we are capable of.
When you feel guilt, a good centering question to ask yourself is: “have I done something wrong here”?
Guilt says “I’ve done something wrong”.
And, when it comes to taking time to replenish, nourish and refuel yourself – I really hope the answer to that is “hell no’!
It’s not selfish to care for yourself. It’s self preservation. As one of the Women Rising Facebook group members commented “essential”.
Here’s how I see it, and this may ruffle some feathers, but I would rather shake you awake, than allow you to remain asleep for one more day to this reality:
It is selfish NOT to take impeccable care of yourself.
How can you be there for your loved ones, clients, and those who need you if you are burned out, drained, bitchy, angry, resentful, irritable hot mess?
Is it fair to your kids, spouse, and those in your life to get that version of you? Is that the version you want to be?
My guess is when you act in ways that are from your lower, drained, tired self that you later feel guilt for behaving in those ways, yes?
Would you rather have the guilt pangs for making yourself a priority (and doing it anyways) and finding yourself a more calm, patient, centered, grounded mom/wife – or guilt for hurting those around you since you decided you would be a better Mom/wife if you totally sacrificed your SELF for them, and react and lose your shit because you didn’t take time for your needs?
Is it fair to your family if you become too sick to fully live your life?
We can only give of our highest when we are giving from fullness, wholeness, self love, and from our grounded energy.
Giving or sacrificing ourselves out of fear and guilt only leads to resentment and eventual burnout.
If you’re a Mom, how can you take excellent care of your kids, and be emotionally present if you’re running on fumes from an empty tank?
Here’s the answer, you can’t!
It’s time to wake up and start putting YOU at the top of the priority list.
Under the umbrella of self care is your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellness.
If you’re already struggling with exhaustion and other mounting health issues, stress, and emotional ups and downs, you need to take action right now. Do something today to start coming back home to yourself, your soul and your deepest desires.
You may already be in burnout and not know it if you’ve been neglecting yourself.
Exhaustion, morning fatigue, low energy, insomnia, having a short fuse, anxiety, and mood imbalance are a few key indicators of Adrenal Fatigue and burnout. I specialize in getting women on the right track fast in my online programs and 1:1 intensives.
The effects of getting to severe Stage 3 Adrenal fatigue are still something to this day I am dealing with, and working to completely heal. The implications of hitting burnout can be life shattering, relationship destroying, and completely bring your life to a grinding halt.
Take action early on, and continue to practice radical self care as a way to prevent hitting burnout in the first place is critical to your continual thriving.
The degree to which you are truly committed to loving yourself wholeheartedly, is the degree to which you will prioritize YOU as easily and effortlessly as you breathe.
Step out of victim mode, and start being your own solution, your own savior. Nobody’s coming to save you or to create the life you truly want, it’s all on you.
When you truly honor (deeply respect) yourself, your self care will not be an option, you will see it as essential and non-negotiable. It won’t even enter your mind to allow guilt to stop you from taking the necessary time to care for yourself.
Self care guilt is definitely not the way of the woman rising. This is why I have been so passionate about leading women to make themselves a priority – even before their family – for the past 6 years in my counselling practice. I have witnessed miraculous transformations in my clients from a place of total burnout and depression to liberated, inspired and empowered through what I teach.
I am a wife, and have been with my husband for 16 years, and a Mom since 19 with 3 beautiful children (one’s an adult now). I learned the cost of neglecting myself, and putting everyone else first, and am still dealing with the after effects of that today. I don’t want that for you.
When we truly love ourselves up, know that we are responsible for our own energy and vibration, and that we can only be the best version of ourselves when we take time to honor and nurture our whole being, it becomes second nature. It just flows. There is no force.
Part of having deep self love is listening to ourselves, and what we need moment to moment.
Get started today with filling up your love tank, so that you can feel like a powerful, peaceful full from within Goddess. And then, join us in the Women Rising Group and be part of the movement of women putting themselves first!
Client and Women Rising Group Member:
“You sound like a woman who always found a way to do things with no excuses. I am striving for this exact thing in my life. Working on no excuses and blaming noone but how I react to others. It’s all in me and I am so happy and feel amazing and powerful to admit that today to all of you. Wow!! Leanne Oaten one month with your guidance has opened so many doors into my soul. I am so thankful for being guided to you by a friend. Yes, when I first hired you I thought it was so expensive to do this! I took a leap of faith and “DID THE WORK” and now am seeing what my investment gave me. Clearer outlook forward, breaking through some tough shit that I couldn’t do without you. More focus on future and priorities to move me toward reaching my goals.”
(*Name withheld to protect confidentiality).