Hidden subtle relationship abuse is rampant.
We only hear about it when something terrible happens that makes the news, but it is silently going on behind many closed doors, with not even close family members or friends being aware of what is going on.
Hidden abuse is violence of any kind that is hidden behind closed doors, and includes physical, psychological, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, financial abuse.
You do not deserve to be mistreated, disrespected, humiliated or belittled by anyone. And if this is going on within your relationship, you must take a stand for yourself.
I work with women who are living in a situation where they are not being physically battered, hit or abused. If you are in this situation please call your local women’s shelter or service center, and get yourself and any children and pets to safety. There is no time for working through your emotions and self healing if you are in physical danger.
If you are experiencing:
- Gaslighting behaviors where you are being told that you’re crazy when you bring up your partners behaviors to him (which leaves you feeling confused a great deal of the time)
- The Power Over Dynamic: You feel ‘less than’, inferior, powerless, or as if your feelings, opinions, ideas and contributions doesn’t matter to your partner
- Blame Shifting: You’re blamed for the problems in the relationship, for mess in the home, or misbehaving children, and your partner has no desire to own his part in any issues, and you find yourself defending yourself when he shifts the blame back on to you
- Projecting: He projects his disowned traits onto you (says you are cold and lack empathy when it is him that lacks these traits).
- The Nice Mean Cycle: Your partner can swing from cutting and cruel, to charming and your dream partner and back again. You can’t tell what is real, and you are continually feeling confused, on edge and anxious because of this quick switching of behaviors
- The Cycle of Abuse: This is the biggest sign you are caught in an abusive cycle. Tension, Blow up, Get Sucked back in, Honey Moon phases.
These are just some of the signs you are in a toxic relationship.
Living with this day in and day out will take a toll on your mental and emotional well being, as well as your physical health.
It’s common for women in this situation to develop adrenal and hormone issues, thyroid dysfunction and digestive issues due to the chronic stress and tension.
If you are in this situation it is imperative that you get the right support.
Support from someone who has the experience and deep understanding of these dynamics is crucial to you getting the support and guidance you need to stay safe.
I help women develop a safety plan, self care strategies, emotional well being practices, and support them where they are at.
I am not going to tell you to leave the relationship, unless in the case you are being physically harmed. This is not to say hidden abuse is any less harmful, because this is definitely not the case.
Women have reported being hit on occasion is far less torture than dealing with chronic, daily emotional abuse.
Gas Lighting is one of the most psychologically damaging forms of abuse that will leave you feeling like you are going crazy – but it is not actually you who is the crazy one.
If you are in this situation, I invite you to book a private, professional, and confidential consultation.
Sessions take place over Zoom or telephone, and can be based on the best way for you to discreetly conduct our call.
Speak with you soon.