Stop Going to Cross fit: Adrenal Fatigue and Exercise Intolerance
“If you have to force it let it go” ~ Leanne
My issues with eating disorders began in my early teens, and morphed into various versions and dynamics with one common thread throughout my lifetime. Not truly loving myself.
When the first picture (above) was taken, I was in a phase of forcing my body into submission.
Forcing strict diet rules, and exercise that my body was saying NO to.
I would push myself to lift weights do HIIT training, even when I would almost black out after each set and interval, and had to get my center before starting the next.
I would beat myself up for not being able to do the long intensive workouts others seemed to be able to do with ease.
I often felt ashamed, lazy, and guilty for not being able to do more.
I starved myself when I was hungry, and counted my calories like it was my full time job using the app My Fitness Pal.
My breaking point was one day, having a spoonful of natural organic peanut butter on my celery that put me over my ‘allowed calories’ for the day, and immediately felt compelled to go exercise it off. My husband looked at me in shock when I expressed how I was feeling to him, and it was in that moment I started to really recover from my disordered relationship to food and my body.
I stopped lifting weights, and started just walking my dogs in nature, and doing a few minutes of yoga when I had the energy.
Even though my Ego was telling me “walking isn’t intensive enough”, “you’re going to get fat”, “You need to do more”, I listened to myself, and my body.
I deleted the app from my phone, and started exploring the world of intuitive eating, and letting go slowly of my obsession with weight loss, calories, “clean eating” and exercise, and started focusing on living my life, creating my dreams, and getting in touch with what I truly wanted.
While this journey has taken many years, twists and turns, ups and downs, and falling into old patterns, I am in a place where I can say I am truly free of the ‘inner mean girl’ who used to relentlessly taunt me.
I am free from emotional eating patterns, and sugar addiction.
I am now obsessed with how I feel, how much I am present for my life, my kids, and my life purpose (sharing my inner musings, life lessons and guiding my clients).
As pictured above, I am about 20 pounds more abundant today, but I am truly at peace with myself and body as it is right now.
I desire to slim down and get closer to where I was, however I won’t sacrifice my health and soul to do it.
I am done fighting with myself. I am done following diet rules that feel like a prison. I am done with forcing workouts on my body that don’t work for me.
I am done with guilt, shame, and picking my body apart in the mirror.
I am done with anything that doesn’t feel like love. From myself, and from others.
If you are struggling with Adrenal Fatigue, and your inability to do your typical workouts leaves you feeling guilty and lazy, I invite you to press play on the video below.
This is a very common frustration for women who have struggled with similar issues I have shared here, and can bring up some pretty funky, and uncomfortable emotions when they can’t do their usual workouts anymore.
Be gentle with yourself.
Life is not a race.
Focus on health of mind-body, emotional balance and spiritual and self connection. The rest will take care of itself.